Crikey!

When you feel your life is a bit tangled with somebody (or his music), it's not exactly healthy, is it?

去年11月11日，我早早来到Union Chapel门前。天色渐渐暗了，离开门的时间却还早着。绕教堂走了半圈，那间装着雕花玻璃的房间灯火通明，空无一人。最终我选择倚在教堂的木门上，听soundcheck。

木门很厚，然而当自己把头抵在上边时，Andrew的小提琴声便从脑畔传来，丝丝如缕，若有若无。果然是Useless Creatures里的作品，听到了master sigh/sigh master，和carrion suite的主题旋律，然而也只是主题旋律，实际它像云朵一样飘忽不定。

（注，Useless Creatures是伴随Noble Beast同时发行的一张purely instrumental（完全器乐）的专辑。任何人都可以在Andrew Bird的官方网站听到Useless Creatures的全部曲目。）

"Melodies are like ghosts, they are elusive."
"The first notes I still play when I start a sound check are classical. Those are my roots."

不记得自己听了多少时候。那时的自己是怎样的疲惫和心情复杂呵。

渐渐有观众来排队了，前几位都是女生，清一色美国口音。关于那晚观众的小插曲，可以看这里。

至于开门后自己怎样坐了第三排，怎样心神不宁的观察和等待，都可以略去。

在看到某位格衬衫的胡子先生从后台走出来的1秒钟后，我果断的离开座位跟上去。至今我依然高兴那时的果断。

他是Andrew的工作人员。在教堂门外，我向他递上一个信封。他说没问题，我会转交给他的。

彼时已经8点，暖场嘉宾Jesca Hoop上台来了。她很漂亮。她的声音很好。她的音乐很个人化。她感冒了。

我专注地看她的演出，用心地鼓掌，然而思绪，不禁飘过她的上方，飘向后台。不知格衬衫先生是否把信封给他了？他看到它会是什么表情呢？他会拆开看吗？

也许格衬衫先生忘了，也许Andrew演出结束后才会有心情看那信封。

他登台的时间是9点15么？我记不得了。然而我隐约记得他走上台的样子，充满自信和活力，和前一晚的他对比鲜明。

他把两件衬衫套在一起穿。总之他一共穿了四件上衣，却依然显得很小只。

那晚的演出曲目是这样的：

Instrumental
Sweetmatter
Why?
Natural Disaster
On Ho
Oh No
Heretics
Effigy
Lusitania (w/ Jesca Hoop)
Anonanimal
Don't Be Scared
Capital I (Sesame street cover)
Imitosis
Cataracts
Scythian Empires
-----------------------------------
Oh Sister (w/ Jesca Hoop)
The Happy Birthday Song

感谢推特上的Sarah和我分享了这场演出的全程录音，所以在此分享给需要的人，请点这里(rayfile)，或这里(sendspace)。:)

听着录音，我对那场演出的回忆几乎全都有了依托。然而录音不能记载的，是他优雅的气质，是他演奏时投入的神情。曾经有段时候，每当我看到他闭着双眼弹琴唱歌的样子或是访谈时小声音支支吾吾说话的样子，都想冲上去吻他的嘴唇。

然而关于那晚的曲目，我还有话要说。

Why?的二人对话段落里，他那一句阴森恐吓的"Why did you do that?”引来观众一阵笑声，他应景接道"No, no, I'm serious."，于是大家笑得更厉害了。

我非常惊喜地听到了Heretics和Cataracts，如同前一晚听到MX Missiles一样惊喜。三首都是他近来很少演出的旧作。前一晚他MX Missiles唱到中间却忘了歌词，当时坐在第一排的我喊出了那句词为他提醒，于是他接着唱了下去。那时我在自豪之余心想，小样儿，回去要恶补歌词了吧，同样的事情明天可不能发生了。

结果它依然发生了。这回他忘了Heretics的歌词。"Oh no, this happened last night"，他说。

有前排观众朝他喊了一声，但他没有听清，于是他小声儿问："What's the next line?"

哇塞，忘词了还可以直接求助观众耶！顿时帮忙的喊声四起。大家都笑。Andrew便是这样的音乐人，他不愿把每场演出的每个细节都提前编排好，他不在意现场演出时有些小磕绊。在他看来，It's these perilous, slightly embarrassing moments that make the show special.

And I love him for that.

他solo演出的许多变数是我喜欢的。比如他让我们决定是演Don't Be Scared还是The Giant of Illinois（这里）；他临时起意演了The Happy Birthday Song（"Thank you for all the suggestions..."）；他同样临时起意地又没演Weather Systems。

而这一晚最出彩的即兴曲目是他临时起意的Capital I。歌单上没有这一首。不知他什么时候决定演的呢？也许就是8-9点的那个小时里，总之他歌词也完全没有记熟。演这首歌之前，他从口袋里掏出一张皱巴巴的纸，并把它放在钟琴(glockenspiel)上。唱到"rubbing it here, scrubbing it there"时，他笑场了，并羞赧的捂住脸（噢噢噢，Andrew，你不cj~）；因为看不清"on a busy afternoon"，他停下来仔细辨认自己的字迹；歌曲结束时他笑了，"That was pretty awful."

然而所有人都因此而更加爱他。

那晚的演出非常有激情，精彩而激情。那晚的Andrew Bird比我之前见到的任何一次都爱说话，都自信满满，我的理解是他一定心情大好。

可以自大的认为自己的礼物是他心情大好的原因之一吗？

我送了他一双袜子。像他这样演出时一贯在第一首曲子结束后就脱掉鞋子的人，多一双袜子总不会嫌多吧。

舞台上的他脱掉鞋子时，我发现自己的礼物已经在他脚上。我很惊异，开心而惊异。他会在那等待的一个小时里特意换下他自己的，换上这一双呀。我终于理解了为什么pitchfork要叫他"whistling heartthrob"，为什么他的manager要叫他"a real sweetheart"。他真是懂得粉丝的心。

格衬衫先生后来说，今天的演出比昨天好。这一点我十分同意。Andrew心情大好，所以我们看到了一场超乎精彩的演出。而且，在演出结束后的5分钟内，他居然直接跑出来和观众见面。

他给我签了The Mysterious Production of Eggs。而且，在我什么都没有来得及说之前，他便问：你是送给我袜子的人吗？（Andrew真是心思细腻；谢谢那位格衬衫先生；或者只因东方面孔在一群西方人中太起眼）

他说他喜欢那袜子，“我现在正穿着呢”。于是我羞涩了。

我拿到了曲目单，和那张写有Capital I歌词的纸，它是Andrew手写的。

那个"p"和那些"g"都很可爱。

希望他脚上的伤快快好。

既然都这么晚/早了，胡乱写写也无所谓。

他们在一起五年哪，2003到2008年秋天。然后因为什么导致最终和平分手了呢？之前某人的猜测是：一个想结婚，另一个不想。或者，一个想要孩子，另一个不想。

直到现在他们仍然很亲密。他们是最好的朋友。

Andrew Bird的live DVD原来是早就打算过的，2007年12月14日和15日，在Minneapolis的Guthrie Theatre拍了两天，原本打算出DVD，但又没有出，这是为什么呢？直到2008年7月，鸟先生接受采访时都还说Guthrie拍的东西挺好，我们计划出DVD。然后没有出，这是为什么呢？

拖到2009年10月，拍了Pabst Theatre Milwaukee的。据说效果很好，目前在剪。

原来他们计划的不是出一张仅仅为现场演出的DVD，而是一个包括音乐会现场，但更添加了其他素材的Live concert film，也许像John Mayer: Where the Light is那样的，但显然会比后者好。

嗯...Weather Systems的documentary是谁拍的？

这样我不但知道了那是个苹果派，还知道了那苹果派的创作者。她似乎是个五官柔和而然做事干脆有主见的人。

无意里发现，又是Financial advice，估计年收入1-2.5个million，这投资业真是一本万利哈。

12月16日对话Andrew Bird的文字在此了。此访谈会登在www.weliveinbeijing.com，所以请不要转载。不过我猜它还算安全，原因一：哪家国内媒体会转载大篇的英文呢？原因二：哪有国外媒体会跑来blogbus偷东西呢？（噗噗噗...）

文字是就着对话的录音听写出来的；录音听得我非常害羞...同时听到自己和偶像的声音，怎能不令人害羞呢？

回顾此次经历：

1，自己开始说的很快，也许因为紧张。但鸟先生回答问题支支吾吾，于是后来自己也慢下来，还陪着他一起嗯嗯阿阿。有朋友听了片段后随口评论：怎么你家鸟先生说话这样结巴，显得比你还紧张。(呜呜哇哇。害羞...)

2，其实当然紧张的，整个访谈过程中都在伴着他的回答紧张的笑。而自己不时的给些反馈也是电话采访的必要，看不到对方表情的对话还真的不舒服呢；其中有两处自己大笑，实在是因为Andrew的回答太可爱。现在很想念和他对话的感觉。然后发现自己的口音几乎完全是英音主导，衬得他的芝加哥口音格外润滑好听啊。

3，他还记得我在Union Chapel送过他礼物的事情。（哎哟哎哟哎哟哟）

4，自己问的问题还是很有深度的（你这个自大狂！）。除了以前就了解的他对现场演出，对歌词创作的态度，还问出了他对当时在芝加哥举行的一系列教堂器乐演出的感受和初衷。他不连贯的，抽象的话语里折射出的想法更加使我确认Andrew Bird是非常与众不同的音乐家，才华横溢，冰雪聪明。而他回答问题时的直白和真诚简直无法令人不喜欢他啊。

5，自己的准备工作过分充足：比如我知道他的脚最近受伤了；我知道他在芝加哥演winter church instrumental concerts；我知道他演了一首没有填词的新歌叫"Oh Baltimore"；我知道他未来的亚洲巡演是solo show，但之前的澳洲巡演又是和乐队一起的；不知我这对一切细枝末节了若指掌的架势是否令Andrew倒吸一口凉气，也许他有...（执着的歌迷太可怕了）

6，后悔和遗憾当然是有的：没能再和他多说一会儿，有些问题其实还可以进一步问下去的，然后我忘了问一个最重要的问题——他回家休息期间有什么打算。唉....那么就留到下次吧！（你，你，你还要干什么？？！）

录音就不贴在这里了，因为我好害羞啊~~~~（被拖走）。想听录音的同学可以发邮件给我：wikilucy@googlemail.com

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M: How are you? Thanks for agreeing to do this.

AB: Sure. I’m OK.

M: How’s your foot?

AB: Uhh..it hurts. But it’s not broken, so not terribly serious, just hurts like hell.

（问：你的脚怎么样了？答曰：呃。。。疼。）

M: We’ve met actually, I’m not sure if you remember. I saw you in London at Union Chapel last month and I gave you a pair of socks.

AB: Oh yeah yeah! Alright! Thank you. I’m probably wearing them right now.

M: That’s great. Shall I start with the questions then?

AB: Yeah.

M: So you've been touring kind of non-stop since Noble Beast came out, or you’ve been touring more or less for the past 12 years, how's life on tour been for you?

AB: hmm…the touring life?

（他这里走神了...想什么呢？莫非在想我是怎么冒充成记者混进来的？）

M: Yes, do you like … being on tour?

AB: Uh, I do enjoy it or I have enjoyed it. It’s become, a little …just last year how many shows I’ve played and how desperate I’ve been at times…but I’m hanging in there and looking forward to the finished life. 

（果然即使是这样热爱现场演出的Andrew Bird也疲倦了，他真的需要休息了呢）

M: Do you feel any difference in audience's response since 2007’s Armchair Apocrypha?

AB: Oh it depends on whether it’s a solo show or a band show. The band show you have a bit more power or force physically and the audience response reciprocates, whereas in solo shows you don’t have that force, but there’s more of a emotional intensity to the response from the audience and I’m not entirely sure what that is, but it does sort of makes sense, the solo shows are more vulnerable and I’m taking more risks and I think people may respond to that. But with the record…I don’t know how to gage that honestly. There are more people waiting outside at the stage door than it was before (laugh), whether that’s a proper gage, I don’t know.

（和乐队一起的演出有力，而个人演出时更多是情感上的张力。他倾向于在个人演出时冒更多的险，观众通常喜欢这一点。至于2007年之后观众的反应有什么变化...他也不知该怎样衡量，只是发现在stage door等他的人越来越多了。笑）

M: You are in the middle of a series of winter church concerts, with more instrumental sets. How do you feel so far playing these concerts?

AB: What I’m doing right now at Chicago are even more instrumental than in Union Chapel. I do maybe three songs with lyrics and the rest are instrumental. Again they are very intense because you are creating all the sound yourself; you have to create not just the outward energy but also the energy that pushes back. You are creating your own tension, it’s just a different way of energy coming from inside of you and it’s very susceptible to your mood. Always your performances are susceptible to that. It’s very interesting. I tried this when I was working on songs on my farm. The kind of music I hear one day from the next is drastically different, and I tried to re-create something I did the day before. No, loss of memory and it’s just not there, like there’s some kind of quantum physics involved. You can change something by how you look at it. The melodies are ghosts, they are very elusive. You can re-create everything note for note but still, there’s an imaginary realm, it’s still in this cloud-like state, it’s not concrete.

（关于在芝加哥教堂的器乐演出，这样的演出非常容易受当时情绪的影响。比如他在家里的谷仓里写歌时，前一天和第二天的演奏的东西就截然不同。旋律就像幽灵，它们令人迷惑。你可以一个音符都不差的复制它，但那儿仍然有想象的空间，仍然像云朵一样飘浮着，它不成形。）

M: I heard some of the new, instrumental songs, one of them called “Oh Baltimore” sounds really great, without lyrics.

AB: Oh thank you. The challenging thing about these solo instrumental shows is to resist the urge to entertain, the urges to tell stories or do what you think it’s gonna get a reaction from the crowd, and have the patience, or trust your audience’s gonna have that patience, cause I did have this internal clock where I imagine I’m in the audience. I imagine I might start to get sleepy or un-engaged. I came up in the classical world and I didn’t like that indifference towards the audience that I’ve felt, or sometimes even the contempt for the audience. So I’ve always been in this reactionary mode to the classical world. I want to entertain, I want to entertain for so long but, at what cost am I doing that? How much am I suppressing my urges to experiment, so for me the instrumental shows are kind of testing the waters for that.

（原来这些instrumental show算作是一种尝试，有助于他在追求音乐的实验和作为娱乐大众的表演者之间找到一个平衡，他真的太聪明了。）

M: Speaking of instrumental music. (Useless Creatures is fascinating!) But singing is also an important element in your music. Your singing voice changed across albums. Your vocals sound rich in Noble Beast. But it sounds quite different on your earlier albums. How did you develop your singing voice?

AB: On the first record I wasn’t fully confident of what my voice was supposed to sound like. So I would, like anyone, emulate my favorite records which were old jazz, blues records, and my objective was to try to make the microphone distort the way those recordings would. So I would bellow and try to do “more is more”. I still don’t feel I have fully realized what I’m capable of vocally on a record. I think Noble Beast got fairly close, on songs like Effigy, where I think I get a nice “bigness” to the voice without bolting, that’s the trick. A lot of the times in the studio you can hear yourself so well that you don’t project, and every time you do project you seem to get less back. It really messes with your head in the studio. On stage, there’s no question of how to sing, but in the studio even after 8 records you still get self-conscious and self-analytical. Some day I’ll figure out how to get passed that entirely. But now I think I’ve performed so much live that I don’t question who I am or what I sound like.

（他对自己早期的声音不很自信，说他对Effigy里的声音是比较满意的。又提起自己为什么不喜欢录音室。说自己即使出了8张唱片，还是会质疑自己。这样诚恳而深入，我满满的感激他）

M: Is there a preference for you between singing and playing instrumental music? Do you prefer one to the other?

AB: No no, I think I prefer to sing…because it’s so personal and because it is so elusive. Singing to me is cool that I still don’t feel I’ve done my best, ‘cause there’s still somewhere to go. With the violin, I don’t have anywhere to go! (laugh) I can pretty much fool with anything I could’ve imagined, which is cool but it just doesn’t get you up in the morning think “Hmm, I’m gonna become a better violinist today.” I stopped trying years ago and now I just sort of molest my instruments to get what I need.

（这里我大笑了。“对我来说，唱歌的好处是，我依然有改进的余地；而小提琴...我已经完全没有改进的余地了，虽然这样很好，但我无法在早晨激励自己说‘今天你可以成为一个更好的小提琴手’，我若干年前就不再做这方面的努力了。Andrew的自我认识很清晰。）

M: Lyrically, many of your subject matters are things that are not often touched on in songs, but people could still relate to. "Why" for example is incredibly interesting. What inspired the line "Damn you for being so easygoing"?

AB: That one I wrote a long time ago. You can tell it’s like a dialogue between two people. One of whom is …usually I say to protect the innocent but in this case it’s myself. I changed the pronouns. I’ve always been accused of being so …passive that it drives people crazy, whether it’s my brother, my roommate, or girlfriend. I can often at times elicited violence from them by doing nothing. So the song is attempts to understand how I do that to people. I don’t know why that song seems to have such a long life to it, I think it’s because it’s “never not true”. Some songs come and go whether there’s still truth in them or not, but that one is probably always gonna be true.

（关于“Why?”的歌词。Andrew你怎么可以这样坦诚的谈自己的性格？！>//////<）

M: Before you write lyrics for a song, do you have an idea of what your song is going to be about. Do you say, “I’m going to write a song about this this this”...

AB: No, not at all. That kind of thinking usually leads to bad art. After I’ve got maybe 60, 70 percent of the lyrics I do start to realize what I’m talking about, and then the last bits are attempts to make it more understandable perhaps, hopefully without saying something lame. Everything else is going down in the song because it conforms to the melody, not too burdened with a narrative or trying to make so much sense. It begins with total nonsense it usually begins with a bunch of vowels strung together, and then they take shape into a word, and that word must have occurred to you for some reason but you don’t know why. Other songs are kind of inspired by scientific phenomena, and I sort of realize there is something in that phenomena that beholds some truth about ourselves, and has some pretty brilliant words in that idea. So I’ll use that as a canal and kind of build in and around it.

（歌词创作，他歌词的最初形态通常只是一堆元音，笑）

M: You delivered some of the best shows to many people around the world. But this will be the first time for Chinese audience to see you live. What do you hope they can take away from your shows that they cannot get from listening to your albums?

AB: I hope they get some sense of humanity I guess. I try to maintain a presence on stage like I’m just sharing something with you, like showing you what I’ve been doing, like cooking or something (laugh). I try to have that demeanor on stage rather than a look of extreme concentration; I try to be flippant about things onstage. If you try to fight your emotions onstage people get uncomfortable. If you kind of just embrace, even your own uncomfortableness, if you embrace that onstage and people will somehow can relate. Like when people are watching a soccer match they might be imagining they are on a field, so there’s that connection. “Oh well I can see he’s kind of stumbling here.” I wouldn’t wanna do a very scripted performance. That’s what I hope they get, not a note perfect performance.

（他对现场演出的态度，对他来说，演出是一种分享，是一种自然态度的流露。）

M: I guess this will be your 1st trip to China?

AB: Yes.

M: Is there anything in particular you'd like to explore?

AB: Well, I think there will be little time for sight-seeing. I’m just fascinated by the history of China. I also just like street life, which I imagine there will be plenty of, just observing the way people communicate with each other. I have an idea what to expect, I don’t know if that prepares me.

（显然他很忙，不会有时间看风景。对中国历史感兴趣？！<-- 谁让美国历史短呢？）

M: Do you still get time to explore the places where your shows take you, in general? Not much huh?

AB: Not much, and it’s difficult, not without projection on the mood you’re playing. Sometimes it’s difficult to connect. I really relish moments when I actually can have a conversation with somebody, and that becomes more and more difficult these days.

（哎呀呀一个人在路上孤独的Andrew，我可以参与你的谈话吗？）

M: I guess some people would be curious about your sock monkey, where did you get it?

AB: A woman in Toronto made one in my likeness. She did one for everyone in the band. I just got attached to it. Now I’m superstitious about it. If the show isn’t going well I’d be like, “Oh, ‘cause the sock monkey is still back stage!” It’s just one of those superstitions.

（他对自己的猴子玩偶果然是迷信的，难怪每次演出都要放在身后）

M: You'll be performing solo for your Asian tour. And you are touring with your band in Australia?

AB: Yeah. We’re playing festivals. They wanted the band for that.

（估计这个问题把他吓到了）

M: How does it feel different from when you play by yourself?

AB: With the band…I guess I’m still working pretty hard up there, I still do what I do with the solo show. With the band if that stuff goes wrong you can always play like a set. But sometimes you play for your band as much as you play for the audience. The band has a momentum to it. The forward momentum and the resistance to the momentum all have to come from me. So it’s a different kind of energy.

M: OK I think that’s all. Thank you very much for answering the questions. Good luck with your show tonight and we are looking forward to seeing you in China!

AB: You are welcome. Thank you for staying up so late.

M: (laugh) No I'm in the UK, it's evening.

AB: Thank goodness for that.

（哎哎哎Andrew我还是舍不得放你走哎~~~）

阿苗同学我刚刚通过电话采访到此时正在芝加哥的Andrew Bird了。此事历经周折，终于还是实现了，感谢Splitworks的工作人员，尤其喜北帮我联系此事，另外要谢谢Plurk上朋友们的帮忙。:)

我们仅仅说了22分41秒，其中的前1分钟是在客套。

虽然20分钟的长度是鸟先生方面的要求，但我仍然在挂掉Skype后的瞬间就后悔了：awwwww why did I let him go???!!!

作为一个乐迷，能做到这个份上应该算是极致了吧，可我却还惋惜没能再说久一点。

这人啊，真是不知足。

距看Paul McCartney的日子还有8天。

刚才似乎是第一次听Andrew Bird cover的The Giant of Illinois (a tune originally by The Handsome Family)，想起在Union Chapel时他说，我想演个Handsome Family的歌，是Giant of Illinois还是Don't be Scared，你们选。
我说Don't Be Scared, 后边一个小子也说DBS。剩下的大部分观众没想法。
于是Andrew就演了DBS。
我现在全是后悔。

因为The Giant of Illinois实在是一首令人心碎的美丽的歌。
它讲的是一个真实的故事。
故事的主角是世界上最高的人，Robert Wadlow，他1918年出生在Illinois，在短暂的一生内无法停止生长。
无法停止的生长迫使他必须在腿上戴支架，因为他无法感觉到自己的脚。
在一个冬天的雪地里，他的脚上生了一个水泡，它感染发炎了，情况迅速恶化。最终他死掉了。终年22岁。

The giant of Illinois
died from a blister on his toe
after walking all day in the first winter's snow.
Throwing bits of stale bread to the last speckled doves
he never even felt his shoe full of blood.

Delirious with pain, 
his bedroom walls began to glow
and he felt himself soaring up through falling snow.
And the sky was a woman's arms.

天空是一个女人的怀抱。
熊的奶奶，不带这么诗意不带这么煽情的。
于是我就哭了。

Andrew Bird第一次听到这首歌是在1996年，那也是他第一次遇到Jay Ryan。

你可以在这里收听这首歌：